Interview with Rajyavardhan Rathore

THIS is a composite of the interviews given by India's silver medal-winning shooter Rajyavardhan Rathore. The Indian's feat is remarkable because he needed two hits off the last shot. Along the way, he "died several deaths"… some of his insights are revealing.

Rathore finished second in the men's double-trap shooting event on Tuesday, 17 August 2004. The 34 year-old's score of 179 (135 in qualifying and 44 in the final round) gave him a silver medal, India first individual silver in Olympic history.

Sheikh Ahmed al-Maktoum of the United Arab Emirates took the gold, scoring 144 in the qualifying round and 45 out of a possible 50 in the final round, while China's Wang Zheng won the bronze.

What was your preparation in the last few days?
There is a mix of everything. There has to be a balance. If you just think about the event, then you will get burned out, and if you don't think about it at all, and you are just enjoying yourself, then you tend to lose focus. There has to be a healthy mix of both these things. As a result, yesterday I was a mix of both these. Whenever I felt that I was getting a little too anxious, I would relax, crack a joke, talk to somebody, and generally make the environment a little lighter for myself. But whenever I thought that I needed to focus, I would sit back, close my eyes, and think of the target, of how I would do, how my emotions would be, what is my game plan for the match, and everything. It is a mix of both.

You were posted in Kashmir from 1994-96. What were your experiences there?
I am part of the 9 Grenadiers, and my unit won the Army chief's citation for excellent performance. We would have eliminated about 300 militants in two years.
There's a constant threat to your life as they have the first opportunity to strike. You are just plain lucky at times. I have a rain cape which has four holes caused by bullets. That's how close you can get. We were like tigers on the prowl there, we were hunting, and we cold be hunted. We were all very psyched up people. After four months you have to go on leave compulsority, otherwise you could go mad.

How would you compare shooting in the Army and in competition?
It's vastly different. In the Army, no special effort is needed to concentrate, unlike in competition. It comes automatically, naturally. You are constantly visualising situations where you could be in. When you spot danger, for a fraction of a second there is fear. After that it's gone. You don't even know you have been hit by a bullet until you see blood coming out.

You shot a 43 in the second series of qualifying. What were your thoughts then?
When I came here and saw the stands at the range, I said to myself I will never sit there. Even during the trap competition, I ddn't sit there, I stood and watched. It was a way of psyching myself, for I was telling myself that I wanted to be in the final. But after the second series, I thought my Olympics was over.
I had shot under pressure and scored 46 in the first series. In the second, there was no pressure, but I lost focus for a while and missed a few critical targets. But I recovered in the third series. For the last eighteen months, I had not missed a single final and I didn't want to miss it in the Olympics, which is the ultimate competition.

You had to come from behind in the final. What did you tell yourself at that point?
In the final, I thought it was all about dignity. I told myself you shold get your respect back. Let my opponent shoot 50 out of 50 and win, but I should walk out form here with pride. Emotions can make you weak, and you should cut them out in such a situation. When I pull the trigger, it should be with courage and not because of weakness. So I kept the feelings away. At one point, I had missed four targets, and I realised I was missing because I was losing aggression. When you lose your aggression, you lose the natural way of shooting. I then told myself that even if I miss, I should go hard at the target. That's how I made those last two hits possible.
I was absolutely focused on the target. I could see nothing else but the target.

What are your feelings a day after your win?
I wouldn't want to go through those moments again. It's an experience to be savoured later on, but I died many deaths inside over there.
I feel a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment. I could see that pride all around, in reporters and fellow athletes after the win… this is too big an event for an individual to claim all the credit.
We have been working hard for this event. The stress was not on technique alone. It was also about fine-tuning the mental faculties.

Is shooting the right sport for the Indians, now that you have won an Olympic medal?
I would say so, because we have very high level of skills. We have a great mythology in our background where people have raised their mental faculties to a level where we can outwit our opponent with that strength. Killer instinct can be developed in individuals.

What do you attribute your success to?
I think there has been a lot of hard work and in the right direction. And for the right direction, there were people to give able guidance. There were lots and lots of people who helped me - helped with funds to go out and train, helped me with their tips whenever possible, helped me with various advice that one needed for matters of life. It is all a culmination of everything, a culmination of God's wish and lots of people who helped me do this.